好心没好报 at 11:31 PM

So this is the first year I didn't give anything to her for Mother's Day

Not because I didn't care to, not because I didn't plan to.

Went to Popular and took at least 5 minutes staring at the shelf of decorated paper, deciding which one is the best design for the base.

Took another 5 minutes to choose the other coloured paper and envelope.

Headed to Old Chang Kee to buy her two most favourite snacks.

Was making her card at home when she walked in. Got scolded when she saw all the coloured paper strewn on the table, for wasting my time.

Ignored her scolding and continued with the card.

She walked in a couple more times to scold.

“每次都做无聊的东西浪费时间。 什么都会做，就是不会读书。”

That, was the last straw.

Threw everything into the bin. Threw the Old Chang Kee snacks into the chute.

Guess she still doesn't know that all this is for her.

Or maybe she just doesn't care.

And now I'm left wondering, "Why did I even bother?“ at 9:48 PM

Please don't let anything happen to Grandma.

Please let her be okay and continue to be strong and healthy. at 12:11 AM

Hey.

I think I like you. BACK at 9:39 PM

Okay never knew I will say this. BUT IM BACK.

Guess I still need an outlet to rant and reflect after all.

Was looking through my super old posts from sec sch days and reminiscing the good old days. And realise that if I don't go back to blogging, I will never be able to reminisce my JC days.

Not that there's much to reminisce about.

EXCEPT FOR KNIGHTS HURHURHUR

And mugging

And being bored.

Okay yes I'm screwed for BT1 that's for sure. Too embarrassed to tell people about the progress of my revision.

But that's okay. There's still BT2. And Prelims. And A levels. Woolala~~~~

Just hope that I will pass everything *fingers crossed* *toes crossed*

Shall write a proper reflection on YLTC 2013 after blocks! at 11:39 PM

YES BLOCKS ARE OVER.

And I have had one and a half day full of post-blocks fun wheeeeeee

So happy lalala went out to chill with 401 peeps at Coldstone. And then had GEMS with the class today. Was much better than expected even though we spent like 2 hours walking and trekking and HIKING through grass and canals and crossing huge drains. We are such adventurous peeps yozzz hahaha

Anyway I think I'm going to do fineeeeee for this blocks. Not fantastic, but at least I don't think I would screw it up as much as I thought I would before taking the papers. Okay maybe Chem will be a disappointment, like a C? But I hope I can get at least 2 As (Physics and Math). Econs? Forget about it hahaha even if I get a U for that I won't really feel sad :P

Anyway I'm going to enjoy this post-blocks feelings for one whole week. And then it's time to start to prepare for promos. 10 weeks isn't a lot if you think about it. I'm going to slowly build up my revision momentum, and then when we get back all our block test papers, that's the time I will full blast my revision already. No more last-min preparation this time. I want to have tried out all the practice papers one week before promos start so that I feel confident and all prepared.

Yup must keep this steam going :) at 8:45 PM

Finally.

I knew I would break down when I'm under this much stress. Stress that I gave myself. Stress that I brought upon myself because I just hate Math and refuse to revise before that and now I'm screwed.

Gonna let all the tears out. And then when this post ends, I promise I will work hard late into the night to make sure I will ace tmr's test. Even if it means downing a cup of coffee and only having an hour of sleep. I really really want an A. I don't want my mum to be looking at my grades and think that I'm not putting in any efforts at all.

The fact is, I have been trying. Maybe not as hard as I should have, but I did put in efforts. Yet, the results are not showing.

10%. It's okay. I promise that when the 65% BIG one comes, I will work harder and more consistently. at 10:57 PM

Fucking tired to the point I'm alr kind of numb to all this.

Guess it's really true when they say that JC is a time when you don't know why you are doing all this shit. When you are studying cos you are forced to, and not cos you are worried you can't scrape A1 but cos you are fucking scared you will fail.

And you can't even take a nap without feeling guilty wtf.

I really wonder why I'm doing what I'm doing sometimes. And then I can't find a proper answer for my actions but continue doing them anyway.

Haiyo nvm back to Econs T.T at 11:14 PM

This is really a super duper uber random question, seeing how im in the middle of the math rev, but it's really bothering me.

I mean, does anyone else ever feel like they will never ever like anyone (again)?

Cos I do D:

I know the qn is really weird. But I mean, the thought of me never ever going to like anyone is worrying me.

LOL or I might have turned into a lesbian without me realising.

And am thinking of moving this blog. Nobody reads it anymore anyway I think. Might as well turn it into an e diary or whatever you call it.